(Mrs.)

A new life. A new dawn. 

My life as a (newbie) married woman. Blissful?

Oh, yes. Depressingly delightful.

Sometimes, there's those days where I feels like 've already found everything I need to discover in life. Like I've had enough. Nothing really excite me anymore. Sometimes. Another day, there's this feeling where everything I need is to hold on tightly to this one (worldly) man. Strange. Yet so familiarly wrong. 

I am not that kind of girl. Not anymore, since a very long time ago. That shallow me. That "un-wise" me. Silly-cry-baby-unsettled-me. 

So many changes. 

These days. This new "wilderness" so called (mrs.) life, blissfully... sometimes somehow I lost myself somewhere under the sun. Being the old version of me, the one I'm never very proud of... I hate those set back. That crybaby me. The one who needs another human being appreciation to feels content. 

Allah is enough. 

Feels like now I'm in a middle of a big trials of my "adult-life". 

أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوٓا۟ أَن يَقُولُوٓا۟ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ

Do people think once they say, “We believe,” that they will be left without being put to the test? — Qs. 29: 2

Oh Allah, 

Rabbi... I just hope---I pray, You help me get through this excellently. There's nothing but You. The most benevolent. Oh, Lord...